**Back story: the monkey was on the phone with her father, and mentioned that her Grandpa Larry had died, and was in Heaven with Jesus. The following is the text exchange between him and I after the phone call ended** Ex: Did someone die? She said "papa and Lilly went to Jesus" Me: Grandpa Larry. He died of cancer the day after Easter Ex: I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences. Is she handling the loss okay? Me: It's hard for her to understand. It's not tangible for her. So she talks about it on occasion. His picture is on my desk in the office, and she saw it while on the phone with you and thought she would bring it up. Ex: Thanks for the info. I wanted to be able to speak with her if she did ask questions. Again, my condolences. Me: We tell her he isn't sick any more because he's in Heaven with Jesus. Same with a bunny that died at her daycare. Miss Carol's bunny if it comes up as well. Generally it's always brought up on the same conversa…
I've been keeping my unemployed self busy the last week or so painting my office and getting it usable, which is another post in and of itself.
But first? To quell the nay saying cries of "NO PICTURES NO HAPPEN."
On Saturday? No. Today is Saturday. Or yesterday. Whatever. Not Saturday. Guess it would have been Thursday? Sure, we'll go with Thursday.
*Thursday* as I was breaking down my make shift office to move it into the actual office, I had to move my pellets of nothingness. And after having spent two months of love and labor to get those little shit seeds to sprout and gotten nothing...NOTHING...in return, I had resigned myself to tossing all 72 pellets of wasted energy into the trash. I had a moment of silence for all the vegetable death that had occurred, and carried my starter tray outside to chunk that bitch in the trash.
And then? The sun hit something inside the plastic cover just right. Was that a hint of gre…
There aren't really many words in my head right now, just a lot of pain.
Usually I love Easter. No seriously. I haven't really thought about it until just now, but I would have to say it's probably my favorite holiday.
But this year it's different.
I can't really say all I'm feeling. Not because I don't want to, but because I literally don't know how to put into words the emotions.
I've been praying and reading a lot of Scripture. Sometimes I'm afraid that maybe my prayers to take away the pain is what brought us to this point. Mostly I hope that it's bringing comfort where it's needed.
And I wish I could do more.
Jesus replied, "You do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7