Showing posts from July, 2008

Ranks Right Up There

I have done a lot of really dumb things in my life. A lot. In fact, I've probably done more stupid things in my life than I've done good. And I know I'll have to pay for that one day, which is why my mantra when people have told me that I'm going to hell is that the first one there buys the beer. So it's not gonna be a shocker, is all I'm saying. But today's stupid act is one for the record books. I'm not a reckless person, but I'm also a person that doesn't back down. It's important for you to know this about me, because it's going to relate directly to this post. If you tell me that the sky is blue, I'll argue how incorrect you are, and not only are you incorrect, but how also a real friend would have never let you leave the house dressed like that. I go for blood, and I'm in for the long haul. Hence how my strong headedness has led to today's stupid event.

I'm driving home, The Smoodge happily licking her toes…

Topic Trouble

I struggle fairly regularly on what to blog about. At least when I sit down to blog. During the day, I'll come across several things that I think would make for awesome topics, but when it comes time to put the thoughts down on computer screen?...I blank. Completely. And I'm left doing stupid posts like all the different ways you can make up dumb names or the post that I deleted a few minutes ago because, really? Who wants to hear about the mind boggling crap my daughter took this morning? And then I start thinking about, well, why do I blog in the first place?

I'm going to have a take break from this post because my co-worker is yelling at his kid on the phone. He just told his kid that he was 'gonna ground him somethin' fierce. I am turning purple here to keep from laughing. Oh my good god. Live action folks, you heard it here first. Giant man with diabetes squeezes himself into a cube and yells into the 'talky box' that you ain't…


I finally met a goal! Sure, it was a little one, that really has no pay off or reward to it. It's not even redeeming really, other than the fact that I actually did it! My goal, you ask? To post fourth of July pics before the end of July. And the last day of July is tomorrow. Take that suck-ahs!

Oh, go here to see them :)

Mango Bra-ie

You know you're bored when you voluntarily play The Name Game... Maybe boredom is the wrong word. Lack of interest in work. That's a bit more accurate. Either way, enjoy the fruits of my nothingness.

And also, don't judge me. I can hear you doing it, so just knock it off.

YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Princess Lancer

YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ranger

YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Det. Blackdolphin

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Jo Richmond

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)

NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Richard Gene

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Ann Gene

TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts…

Out of nowhere

Reason number four billion, three hundred twenty six million, eight hundred ninety five thousand, one hundred and three why I hate California:

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me?

Los Angeles wants to place a moratorium on fast food restaurants in low income areas because the people there are too fat? Why? So that sit down restaurants can go in and offer their healthy, happy food for more than the residents of that area can afford, go broke, and then encourage area residents to vandalize and break in so they can recoup insurance money to get the hell out? Have these idiots ever sat down and compared the prices on healthy food vs unhealthy food? IT'S RIDICULOUS! You could buy a tank of gas for what it costs to eat somewhere that serves all that free-range chicken and freshly washed tomatoes. Oh, they are going to offer incentives, you say, to keep the prices affordable? Incentives that people like myself, a member of working class America, are…

Post NOT from the Coast

We're home. And I'm VERY tired. So instead of telling you about the beach, the good dinner gone bad, the late night, the aquarium, all the people who touched my kid today, and miscellaneous other bits of what has happened since my last post, I will leave you with a few pics and a video. Just to tide you over until I get my brain back.

Post from the Coast 2

The Smoodge is in taking a quick nap, so while she's busy dreaming about pelicans and seagulls, I'm sitting in the shade of the balcony feeling the salty breeze and watching kayakers and boaters lazily float past.

We woke up late, no surprise there since The Smoodge didn't crash out until around 1am, and I didn't hit the sack myself until around 3. Got up, grabbed a tortilla and came out on the balcony to feed the winged rats (seagulls) and fish. Those seagulls are talented, boy. Toss it up in the air and they'll dive bomb to catch it before it hits the ground. They also displayed their hummingbird capabilities by riding the wind right in front of your face until you toss the morsel they are waiting for. I got a few pics, and we'll try for more later once we have real bread. Tortillas suck for tossing; too light. I'll have to post them when I get back home because I didn't bring a card reader down here. Anyway, after we did that for a bit, we go…

Post from the Coast

We are here. After a couple hour drive, then a couple more hours getting The Smoodge back to sleep, but we are finally sitting down to life as it should be. Sitting in a warm salty breeze, eating powdered donuts, drinking bottomless cups of Diet Coke, and chatting.

I am not shitting you, one of my friends just made a batch of cookies and set them down in front of us. I hope my funeral was fun, because I must have seriously died and this is what heaven is like.

Funnily enough, two of us are online, the third, well, she was busy making cookies (she knows her role), and we've got Pulp Fiction on the tube.

The drive here was not so bad. We got on the road around 8, The Smoodge was crashed out before we even left the city limits. And that's when the three hour marathon of every awesome song from the past rocked us all the way here. You do not know a good time until you are singing along with The Proclaimers explaining how you'd walk five hundred miles (and then you'd wal…


Can't go wrong with a title like that. No siree, it's simple, to the point, and universal. That being said, LET THE WEEKEND BEGIN!... about an hour. At which time, I will tear out of here like a bat out of hell, careen through traffic in an effort to beat any jams in order to pick up The Smoodge, make my way over to the apartment, where I will anxiously await for my dinner to arrive, eat, pack, and load into the car, where we will promptly head to my weeeee-kend of fun. And time. Could not. Be moving. More sloooooowly.

It flew for most of the day. Got in, handed out checks. Spent the morning configuring some hardware and software for time management purposes, which is something that has only taken me the last 3 months to do, but whatever. Wrote out some instructions for miscellaneous things, reviewed some applications, just in general keeping busy stuff. NONE of which were scheduled for today, but, like I said earlier, whatever. It doesn't matter if I have …

Late Night Post

I just posted some shots on my Flickr. I actually don't have a lot of time to post because I'm doing laundry in preparation for my weekend o' fun. And waiting for a phone call. And trying to stop the bleeding. I shaved my legs, and as I've mentioned before, I'm not so good at that, so now I'm trying to decide at what point do I need a transfusion. Getting dizzy......

Hehe, kidding, but I did give myself a rowdy cut while shaving. So much so I had to rinse the chunk of flesh from the razor. I know, how's THAT for a visual. But at least I know that I have mad skills should I ever need to fillet a fish with a razor.

ANYway, I posted some shots, so enjoy. I'll blog a bit more tomorrow. I'm kind of in a dark place tonight and don't want to talk about it, so let's try again tomorrow when I'm a bit more chipper, shall we?

Round One

I shot this from my balcony, and it's the first round of Dolly's outer bands about to hit San Antonio. Wasn't too bad, a fairly small cell that was angry in it's own right. Blew some stuff around, put on a phenomenal light show, and dumped a bunch of wet stuff I hear they call rain on top of everyone during rush hour traffic. It didn't last very long, but the worst of it for San Antonio will come tomorrow. Hopefully. I am not looking forward to that pile of paperwork I didn't even look at today, and if I can use this storm as an excuse, well, so be it.

At first I was afraid this hurricane would ruin my weekend, but I've been given the green light, and good times will commence as planned. More on that later. In the meantime, I'm just enjoying the cool breeze we're being treated to.

Killing Time

Can you say...SLOW DAY?

First, I woke up late, which really isn't any big surprise because I ALWAYS wake up late. Except this morning it was exceptionally late. So I called in to act like I was going to be later than normal because I was getting a gift for a coworkers baby shower today at lunch, and asked if anyone needed me to pick up anything for the shower. See? How resourceful am I? Anyway, the shower is kind of sucking the productivity right out of the day. I mean, I couldn't accomplish anything before the shower because there were preparations to be made, and now I can't accomplish anything because I don't want to. Ugh.

Meanwhile, back in the bat cave, everyone is apparently freaking out of this strong wind that's going to come through here, otherwise known as DOLLY. My financial dude even wanted to cancel my meeting with him tomorrow because the weather is supposed to be nasty. Seriously people? Is the weather business getting THAT boring you have to get all e…

Lack of Blog Tonight

I fully intended on sitting down and having a meaningful blog moment. Right up until I pulled my glasses off and took a good look at the caterpillar that is stuck to my forehead right where my eye brows used to be. Since I've been wearing my glasses, thanks to the Great Eye Boycott of 2008, the frames shield my normally bare eye features and I was unable to notice how rowdy things had gotten. So instead, the blogging for this evening has been put on hold as I attack my face with a brow brush and tweezers. And it looks like I'm in for the long haul, because I've been hacking away for about 45 minutes, and I still have one more to go. Awesome.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Alright, I know it's more than a little cliche, but I couldn't get that song out of my head once I thought it, so now I make you all suffer...Mwah ha ha ha..ha......ha.....

Anyway, yeah, today's Sunday. I posted earlier, all sadness and gloom and ick, but I'm feeling much better now. My Smoodge is home where she belongs, and my apartment is mostly clean. I say mostly and not all the way because the vacuum cleaner is now making a nest for itself in the dumpster, and once it broke, my cleaning rhythm was disrupted, and I found it hard to get myself back in the groove. Does that happen to anyone else? You start a task, get trucking along, really in the groove, and some random thing happens and you find yourself with the perfect excuse to lay on the couch watching some random movie? Anyone? No? Just me? Okay, never mind then. But the apartment is mostly clean. The only thing I have to finish is laundry. And okay, maybe the bathroom could use a little bit of clea…

Sad Sunday

I am inexplicably sad this morning, I miss my Smoodge. I just dropped her off with her father, and get to face another day without her smiling face. It's absolutely amazing to me how much she has wormed her little way into every detail of my life, completely changing the person I used to be.

So with that, I'm sad. I've got to keep myself busy today to avoid heading into that lovely full on depression I seem to be prone to. You know, the one where all I can focus on is how lonely I am, how far away my family is, how hard this is by myself, yadda yadda yadda... So I have to resist the urge to crawl back into bed and pull the covers up over my face. Gotta keep busy. Guess this would be a good time to clean, huh? Nothing like depression inspired cleaning. It will either be the best cleaning ever, or the most half-assed job I've ever done. Bets, anyone?

Let's Get One Thing Straight

So, okay. How do I start this? It's kind of random, but it bothers me EVERY stinking time I see it. Because it's a ruination (and yes, dammit, that's a word) of innocence. And funnily enough, it's a CONSTANT ruination of innocence by someone who used to capitalize like a mo-fo on innocencism (also a word). She had that shit down to an ART. And yet on her blog, every day, all the time, ALL THE TIME, I see it. The ruination of innocencism.


*breathing heavily through nostrils in disgust with pursed lips while glaring*

When I was in middle school for chrissakes, (YOU HEAR ME? MIDDLE SCHOOL), I tried to come up with something that would define me for my very first email address. All my other friends had cool email names like...oh i don't know, I can't remember that far back, but just know that they were cool and I was under a lot of pressure. You can't work too hard in getting that email address just right. It stick…

Repeat mistake

Augh! I did it again! That whole not blogging because there was so much to blog then doubling up on the blogging duty each day that passes! Okay, slate clean, here we go:

I actually don't have a whole lot of commentary right now. First of all, it's 8 in the morning. And who really wants to read what others have to say at 8am. I can guarantee it's not going to be filled with sunshine and roses. Second, ...wait, I did mention that whole 8am things right? That should be enough explanation.

Also, I'm in the midst of a project at work which I see as kind of stupid, yet I am obsessive about going above and beyond about it. If a degree from an Ivy League school means that you are incapable of evaluating already prepared information and you get to give orders to others about rearranging already prepared READILY AVAILABLE information, than I think I could save a lot of people some money and time by telling you to drop the hell out now. Yeah, sure, it means a lot of mon…


This guy is my idol.


Props to Daily Coyote for the link.


Made me cry at work.

Fortunately, I have this nifty eye infection to blame for the tears rolling down my cheeks. Sah-WEET!

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Okay, how stupid is this for rationale:

I got back to SATX on Tuesday, and every day I meant to blog. I did..seriously! Anyway, I meant to blog, and each day, I didn't blog, because I had a lot to blog about and that meant it would take a lot of time, so I didn't, because I didn't have a lot of time, and with each day, I added a day of blogging to it, which meant my blog-load doubled, then tripled, get the point. So I didn't blog. Until now, where I'm to the point where I say fuck it, I'm starting anew. With a recap. A short recap. And here it is:

Went to KCMO. Saw the fam, had a great time, and it made me realize how utterly and desperately alone I am down here. Got back. Went to work, and that made me realize how utterly and desperately exasperating my job can be. Thursday morning took my car to the paint and body shop to get it appraised, and will be dropping it off for repair Tuesday. Thursday afternoon went to a financial dude and …

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On vaca until the 8th.