The Best Resume EVER

One of the girls I work with recently showed me the resume I'm about to share with all of you. I couldn't keep this to myself, it was just too...much. What frightens me is that the resume was in response to a job posting for a sales repat a college business center. College. The future of this country. And without further ado....

Education:
Highschool:
Heritage Christian Academy
College:
University of Texas at San Antonio '05- '06
Kingwood Community College '06-'07
University of Texas at San Antonio - current
San Antonio Communtiy College - current
Classification: Sophmore

Experience:
GC Promotions:
Pokemon Tour Promotion
Caress Glow Promotion
Gilette Model Search Promotion
Attack Promotions:
Ponds Clean Sweep Promotion

Other Jobs:
Tawl Health Care:
Office Manager Asstistant- Clerical work
Walmart:
Beauty Dept. Assistant
Hollister:
On floor model
Kids Involement Network:
Afterschool Assistant
YMCA:
Afterschool Assistant
UTSA Athletic Dept:
Treasure of dept. Assistant

Measurements:
Chest:
32 A
Waist:
24
Hips:
38.
T-shirt:
X-small
Pants:
size 3
Shoes:
71/2

Extra:
Im very outgoing and energetic. I love interacting and meeting new people. I have
my own transportation and camera if needed. I am a student but am not currently
employed. I have alot of free time.

To make this whole package even better, there are three photos that accompany this awesome resume, but I refuse to post them for the simple fact that I already feel entirely too dirty.

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