Ode to Worst Monday Ever

To start this awesome Monday, I awoke to the beginning of uterine hell. I hate that, but thought to myself, Self, you can work through this. And I did, and had even begun to enjoy my day despite all that....that...punishment for being a woman.

So I head to work, drop off The Smoodge, and stop at a gas station for a soda. As I got out, I realized the idiot next to me in a Toyota 4runner is parked at a weird angle. Now, I parked far enough over that if he were even the slightest bit capable of operating a motor vehicle, he could have backed out without hitting me. But being as leery as I am of mankind and their capabilities to use cognitive thought, I went ahead and memorized his license plate number. Walk to the door, smile at the older gentleman and his about 10 year old son as I walk inside, get my soda, begin to pay. Right after I slide my card, the Harley rider that was parked in the spot on the OTHER side of the 4runner comes in and says, hey, that guy in the SUV just hit that little red car. SON OF A BITCH I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT! Yeah, that's what I said at more than a whisper inside the Tetco. So I called SAPD, and to make a long story short, filed a report and headed into work.

WHILE I was dealing with all of that, the surgeon called about The Smoodge's surgery. They want to do it tomorrow. As in Tuesday. As in 24 hours from now. My mom is flying down here on Thursday for her surgery on Friday, but a fat lot of good that does if the surgery is tomorrow. So now I'm in the midst of trying to get the airlines to NOT be ass hats, and unfortunately I think that might be part of their job description. We'll see....

And all this while the creature from Alien is making it's attempts to crawl out of my belly button. (credit to A.Shine for that awesome and accurate visualization). Mommy may start drinking at lunch today.


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