Showing posts from April, 2011

Ahem *cough, cough

Yes, yes, I'm still here.  I just do not have anything to talk about.

No seriously.  Let's go through the checklist, shall we?

Job front - still unemployed.  check.
Garden - still not growing.  not even a little bit.  check.
Running - haven't been since the last race.  check.
Weather - still cold and crappy.  check.

So yeah, you know.  Lots of good stuff rockin' over here.

Monkey leaves for Texas in a few days, so there's that.

I am totally not winning lately, gah.

Blank spots

There aren't really many words in my head right now, just a lot of pain.

Usually I love Easter.  No seriously.  I haven't really thought about it until just now, but I would have to say it's probably my favorite holiday.

But this year it's different.

I can't really say all I'm feeling.  Not because I don't want to, but because I literally don't know how to put into words the emotions.

I've been praying and reading a lot of Scripture.  Sometimes I'm afraid that maybe my prayers to take away the pain is what brought us to this point.  Mostly I hope that it's bringing comfort where it's needed.

And I wish I could do more.

Jesus replied, "You do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7

It's not pot. Probably.

Two weeks.  It's been two weeks since I planted the first seeds.  And do I have sprouts?
No.  No I do not.
So I've decided to change directions a bit.
See, in Texas, tomato and cucumber plants, even strawberries, are flourishing and flowering.  Here in Misery, we are still in 40 degree weather.
This is foreign to me.
Also foreign?  The tornado drill (OMG I HOPE ITS A DRILL) that is happening right now.  Sirens and all.  I am writing this and resisting the urge to cower in the fetal position in my basement.
Basements are also foreign to me.
But back to the plants.
I was telling my grandmother that none of my seeds had sprouted.  She asked where I had them.  I said outside.  She said duh.  Not really, but she could have.  Basically, the weather here is still too arctic for anything to be motivated to sprout.  And understandably so.  I have a hard time getting out from under my covers in the morning.  Basically my veggies and I are a bit of the same.
So I've brought them inside and pu…

Great. Now I'm going to die of Lyme Disease

** I actually wrote this on the 16th, which was...I dunno, awhile ago?  Just in case you care **

Since moving to this wonderful state of Misery, we seem to have suffered through more plagues than at any other time in my life.

First came the lice.

Oh sweet Jesus, the lice.

I've never dealt with lice before.  Managed to live my whole entire existence on this planet without being attacked by tiny little head bugs.  But we moved here, and BAM!  The Monkey gets lice.  And of course, since she had lice, *I* got lice.  And then my niece.  And my sister.

In case you're unaware, the Monkey has looong hair, down to her cute little butt.  And it's the most beautiful color and texture.  Which most of the time?  Is awesome.  When you add lice to the mix, you pretty much want to die.  Not her so much.  ME.  First doing the trial and error of what crap actually works, each trial taking any where from 4 hours to 2 days.  Then once you find something that works, you spend the next two week…

Rainin' Rainin'

There is something so serenely beautiful about a yard bursting with growth, blanketed in rain.
 Makes me want to sit on my back porch (that has a tin roof, EVEN BETTER), cuddled with a blanket and a good book.  Sadly, I have neither chair to sit in out there nor the book currently, so desk chair inside and blog reading/facebooking/job hunting will have to suffice.

Also?  I know I need to mow.  Guess what was on the agenda for today?  Apparently the storms we have been having since last night had other ideas.

The little patch of flowers the Monkey and her cousin planted are flourishing.  So much so that the yellow/green snapdragons that were planted without blooms have opened up during this rain to show their neon face.

Those are by far my favorite.  I love green.  I'm not gonna lie, even though the flowers were the girls project, I selected those.

Seed update: Nope.  Nada.  Nothing.  I'm afraid we may have to admit defeat.  Which suuuuuuuuuuucks.

My brain. It's gone. And I miss it. Wait. What was I doing here?

Get Monkey ready for shower.

Notice Monkey needs her nails clipped after shower.
Think to myself I need to go into dining room and get clippers, which are on my desk.
Get Monkey settled in shower, washing hair, etc.
Leave Monkey in bathroom to go into dining room to get clippers, located on my desk.
Walk 25 to 30 feet to dining room, specifically to desk.
Turn on light on desk to facilitate finding clippers.
Notice post it notes in middle of desk instead of in its proper place under the monitor.
Note the name and phone number on top post it of potential interview.
Remove top post it and stick to computer in highly visible place so I don't forget to return the call during business hours.
Move remaining post its to appropriate place.
Straighten a few other askew items.
Turn off light on desk.
Walk back into the bathroom.
Finish bathing the Monkey.
Go to clip Monkey's nails.
Wonder what the hell I did with the clippers.
Realize I never got the clippers.
Wonder where exactly I left my brain and how…


First, let's get this post started with a shout out to the BFF and her new blog.  You can find it here.  If you care.  And if you do visit, make sure you leave some inappropriate comment.  She appreciates those.  A lot.  And while I realize it's a little lacking now, once she figures out how to stop being blog 'retarted', I promise, it will pick up steam.

At least that's what we are telling her.  SHHHHH.

Annnywho, back to what's important here:  Me and my (temporarily) pitiful garden.  Only slight progress was made today, because, as with most of the projects I undertake, I *severely* underestimated the amount of crap I was going to have to do to get this ready.

Let's be honest, shall we?  I totally thought I was going to be able to go outside, scrape off some weeds and grass and unruly ivy to reveal a garden bed just aching to birth vegetables from it's soil-y loins.

Realistically?  This is going to be the death of me.

I now realize that the dirt in th…

Free time. As in, I have too much of it.

Through a very detailed, regimented morning routine on the internet, which consisted mostly clicking on whatever link looked interesting, I found myself looking at the social security administrations website of baby names.  Out of curiosity, I figured I'd take a gander at where the Monkey fell into play for the year she was born.

915 out of a thousand.

Nine hundred and fifteenth...

Now, obviously when you name your kid you go with something interesting and unique in your little mind.  But to dump my kids name at almost the end of the list?  So basically it's me and that mother in Boognockistonia that speaks in clicks and whistles.  Awesome.  You know what was higher on the list than the Monkey's name?





What the french toast, people.  My kid does not have an extraordinarily unique name.  To know that there were more girls born in the United States of freaking America named *MONSERRAT* than the Monkey's name....well....I'm not rea…

Extraneous Gardening

Today I made absolutely no progress what so ever on the vegetable garden.  It is what it is.  I've moved on from it, so should you.

Instead I finished clearing out the area I planted a few rose bushes in.  I had put them into the ground this weekend, clearing out only the spots I intended to put the flowers into.  Today I went ahead and cleared the remaining area.  Mostly.
As you can see, they are pathetic little knobby things that have a lot of growing to do.  There is also a pile of leaves and weeds waiting to be put into trash bags as well, but we're not going to focus on that at the moment.  The one on the far left is a red tea rose bush, hand picked by the magnificent Monkey herself.  The middle one will be a red and yellow blush rose bush, and then the one on the right are my yellow (tea) roses of Texas :)  I'm really hopeful they take root and flourish there.  They will get full sun until probably 1 or so, and then the sun will be blocked by the ladis.  For reference…

Garden Master, Part 2

Because I am one of those people that gets on a kick about something and works the bloody hell out of it, of course I was back outside today diligently slaving over my potential gardening area.  Here's a daylight pic of the spot with yesterday's progress:
I spent some time last night figuring up where I'm going to put everything.  Oh, and I also measured the bottom portion of the garden to so that I could accurately plan plant locations.  Turns out I was a bit off.  It's actually 12 x 6 on the bottom, 10 x 2.5 in that lower flower bed area, and I have no idea on the top, but the goal is to get at least a foot of width along there to plant the larger ones.

Assuming I can do that (oh I am going to do that), then I'll have the pumpkins and watermelons up in the top area.  This way as they start to grow larger, I can move the actual fruit onto the ledge and keep a better eye on them.  The cilantro, swiss chard (still don't know what this is), carrots, and peas will…

Just call me... Kung Fu Gardener.

Not really, I kind of hate that name.  I don't even know why I said that.

It's *finally* that time again!  The cold weather crap has gone....wait.  Please tell me it's gone.... It's gone, right, Missouri?  This isn't just you screwing with me again?  Because I will cut you....  I am unstable as it is, and I really really can't....


The cold weather crap has gone, and the trees are getting those green things, and the bugs are flying, and the birds are eating stuff, and the cats are picking teams for their late night yowl offs.  Also?  Time to put in a mutha fruckin' garden.

I've already started the seeds.  Already.  Like I've been prepping this for months.  Actually?  Days.  I planted some in soil on Tuesday night, and I've done some more today.  I'm a little nervous about them taking.  I used a starter garden set I purchased last year, along with seeds that I got last year.  With the exception of today's plantings, it's all abo…


This post is not nearly as exciting as the title would lead you to believe, but a little false advertising never hurt anyone.  Except the guy that came here looking for porn.  Yeah.  You.  We see you.  And we are staring, judging and pointing.  The trifecta of shame.  So, you know....move along pervert, there's nothing for you to see here.

Where was I?

I've been running a lot of late.  Like...the last three months or so.  I've done a few 5K's and a four mile whatever you call it, and feel like I'm ready to move into 10K-dom.  So now you know that about me.

The other thing you should know?  I have big boobs.  You know how some people knock stuff over with their over sized asses or their beer guts?  Like lamps and small children and such?  I do that too, but with my boobs.  And since they are boobs and slightly higher, it's taller children.  Well...higher when I have the right kind of support...  But you know what I mean.  One time I was able to fully support a b…