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7.17.2008

Let's Get One Thing Straight

So, okay. How do I start this? It's kind of random, but it bothers me EVERY stinking time I see it. Because it's a ruination (and yes, dammit, that's a word) of innocence. And funnily enough, it's a CONSTANT ruination of innocence by someone who used to capitalize like a mo-fo on innocencism (also a word). She had that shit down to an ART. And yet on her blog, every day, all the time, ALL THE TIME, I see it. The ruination of innocencism.

MJRFLT DOES NOT STAND FOR MAJOR FLIRT!

*breathing heavily through nostrils in disgust with pursed lips while glaring*

When I was in middle school for chrissakes, (YOU HEAR ME? MIDDLE SCHOOL), I tried to come up with something that would define me for my very first email address. All my other friends had cool email names like...oh i don't know, I can't remember that far back, but just know that they were cool and I was under a lot of pressure. You can't work too hard in getting that email address just right. It sticks with you forever (apparently, as I have learned...I was wise for a middle schooler, but I digress). Anyway, I agonized over what name to go with. It had to be the perfect blend of not getting made fun of. So I went simple. I picked my initials. MJR. And the instrument I played in band. FLT. Flute.

IF I HAD WANTED IT TO MEAN MAJOR FLIRT IT WOULD HAVE AN EXTRA 'R' IN IT!!!

See the difference? MJRFLT is NOT the same as MJRFLRT. Get it? Do you get it?

Okay, I'm okay now. I'm just saying. I'm sensitive about it, get off my nuts. Because out of all the things in my life that I didn't do for attention, THIS WAS ONE OF THEM! And there is only like three. So please don't take this away from me. Please?

And if you don't, then I will spread internet rumors that catkins is not related to your name at all, but is because you speak in a high pitched baby voice all the time and love all things that are cuddly-wuddly and refer to yourself not only as catkins, but mommykins and have also used terms like kissy-poo. And you wear guady red lipstick WAY outside the lip lines. And blue eye shadow...yeah, blue eye shadow. And you suffer from TBHS. AND you have cankles.

I'll do it.




*side bar-this post was written with nothing but love and affection. the person i am referring to in the blog and I go way back...well, apparently not middle school way back, because then she'd know the story behind the mjrflt thing, and i wouldn't be having this break down at work over it, but whatever, the point is, she knows i gots nuthin' but luv for her. and if she doesn't, then she should, because she should definitely know me well enough to know that if i really WAS angry about the above, then i wouldn't have said anything, i would have simply forked her yard...or put visine in her coffee.... :)

3 comments:

The Lily said...

I dunno. I hear major flute and I think:

"This one time? At band camp?..."

Me said...

*sigh

That stupid movie ruined it too.

How was I supposed to know they were going to ruin life for flutists everywhere? I should sue...

Catkins said...

Hey, it's not my fault you WERE a MAJOR FLIRT in high school!
; ) kisses, homey.