Your ugliness cheers me up.

The week before I took off from Christmas (I remember specifically, it was that Monday), I went to lunch with a co-worker.  We went to this place that's fairly new, and when we got there, questioned whether or not it was open.  I noticed a waiter type standing by the bar, peeked in, and asked if the joint was available.  He indicated it was, and said we could sit wherever.  Duh.  The place was empty.  I saw tumbleweeds.  So we picked out a table, and Mr. Waiter came over to introduce himself and get our drink orders.  He was good looking, and said his name was Brent.  I work with a Brent, and being the friendly type I am, I said as such, and instigated a conversation.  There was brief flirting.  Lunch moved forward, we ordered, whatever.  I can't remember a lot of the specific details because I have slept since then, but at some point he came and sat down next to us and chatted for a bit.  As we got our receipts back, I made some joke about leaving my number on the back for him.  My coworker basically dared me (she had a good point.  just do it, and if he doesn't call, I don't ever have to go back there, and if he does, score), so I left a little note with the digits.  We giggled our way out of there and booked it back to work.

Day continues, boring blah, and I pick up The Smoodge and head home.  Around 6 that evening, the phone rings, and it's not a number I recognize.  It's Brent.  I'm freaking shocked.  Normally dudes do that whole wait a couple of days before calling.  Well, I guess it's not fair to say dudes, because girls do it too, but you get what I mean.  Anyway, we chat for a bit, the normally boring getting to know you small talk blah, and he invites me out for that Thursday.  I told him I'd have to check my schedule and I'd get back with him the next day.

Let me break into this story now and say that I never told him about The Smoodge.  He doesn't know I have a kid, and I didn't feel that first couple minutes chatting was the time to do it.  I figured it would behoove me to get to know him a bit first.  See if he's even worth mentioning I have a child to.

He's not.  But we'll get there in a minute.

So a friend of a friend, which I guess is a friend of mine too, except I'm not really familiar with the whole chain of friendship thing, which is also why I suck at doing the send this to seven people email thingies, but anyway, this girl I know volunteered to baby sit The Smoodge for me as a birthday present (since my birthday was the next day).  So I got all dolled up, which for me is basically putting on deodorant (what do you expect?  I have a freaking TWO YEAR OLD), and headed out to meet up with Brent.

We met up at a bar.  Not even a nice bar.  A dive.  A dive I had never been to, but he apparently had his name on a plaque on the wall for who could accumulate the most DWI's on the way out of there.  I get there, he's already gotten started on the liquor.  I gave him a pass on that since we were meeting up late anyway.  So we go in, we sit down, start with the formalities, and some random dude walks up and apparently hasn't seen Brent in 8 or something stupid years and while I'm sitting there with my thumb in my ass thinking, I left The Smoodge at home for THIS?  During the time I'm having an internal debate about whether or not I should take a shot, walk out, and go catch a flick, my DATE apparently decided that our time would be best spent hanging out with this old friend of his.  Playing darts.  Awesome.

I actually had a decent time playing darts.  I don't normally like games I haven't played before because I suck, and I don't like sucking, especially not in front of someone who I'm still in the 'need to impress' stage (although, for a date, he was getting me out of that stage in record times), but apparently I was having beginner's luck because I was rocking the dart board.  Plus, the more you drink, the easier it becomes to hang out with...well...anyone.  Unless you're a mean drunk.  In which case, I know this guy you can go get drunk with...

I should break in right here and also say that not once, even a little bit, during any part of the flirting at the restaurant or the time at the bar did I ever have the thought that this guy was going to be anything more than a friend.  I have a two year old.  I don't need more children.  And let's face it, that's all men are.

I told Brent as much.  He asked me at some point what I was looking for.  And I was perfectly straight with him.  I told him I'm looking for someone to hang out with.  And I absolutely was NOT looking for a relationship.  Under no circumstances.  Not even a little.  Nuh-uh.  No.  Way.  And he seemed cool with it.  So we had fun playing darts, he asked when we could hang out again, I told him I was going out of town for the next two weeks, but we'd figure something out once I got back into town.  He seemed cool with it, and I went home.

He called every.  Single.  Day.  while I was in Missouri.  Which was....mmmm...what's the word?  Annoying at best?  I talked to him occasionally, but I was busy.  I mean, come on!  I'm with family I haven't seen in ages, it's the freaking holidays, and I've only DATED YOU ONCE.  ON A FAKE DATE.  Seriously?  Sometimes I would answer, sometimes I wouldn't.  Didn't matter.  Every.  Single.  Day.

So now I'm back.  And he knows I'm back.  And I keep making excuses as to why I can't just drop everything and hang out with him.  He still doesn't know I have a kid.  He thinks I've been out of town off and on for business.  Which is funny because I don't travel for business.  Ok, maybe once, but I needed the money, and hell, I'll try anything once.

I talked to him a few nights ago, and he was all kinds of pissy with me.  I was half tempted to ask him if he was pre or post menstrual, but decided against it.  Besides, the pissier he got, the more fun I had with the conversation.  He asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with him this last weekend, and then started in on some diatribe about chick flicks and how there are some out there he'd totally go see with me, and I was like, um.  Have you met me?  I don't do chick flicks, but instead I gave him some bull-oney excuse about Houston, and shows, and whatever, and he asked me if my phone worked where I was going.  I said, oh yeah.  So HE says, get YOU CAN CALL THEN.  All pissy like he had the right!!!  I KNOW!

So that whole time to start dating post I had a few weeks ago?  Yeah.  That post can suck it.