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3.29.2011

Some things really do never change

It's been about 4 years now.  And since the separation, almost five.  You would think that, by now, either something would have changed or I would have caught on that this is the kind of behavior I can expect all. The freaking. Time.

But no.  Like banging my head against a concrete wall.  Just ONCE I'd like a padded cell instead.

Here's the scenario:

I emailed the ex to let him know that The Monkey has been scheduled for hearing and vision screenings.  When the vision folk called me, they asked all kinds of questions about her insurance, whether or not this is covered, does she have this kind of plan, blah blah blah.  Questions that I don't have the answer to (that is a *whole* other story, one that I am far too tired to get into at the moment), nor could I obtain them on my own.  So we (the vision folk and I) decided that we would go ahead and set the appointment, with the understanding that I would get the answers to the questions and take the appropriate actions.

And we're back to the email to the ex.  I asked him, in the email, to provide me with answers to the questions.  A day or so later, I received a response.  That answered no questions I had asked.  Oh sure, there were answers, but to my questions?  Nope.

I emailed him again, making my questions more specific, and asking for clarification on the information he provided.  And his response?  Again, not. answering. my. questions.  More information?  Yes.  Answers to my questions.  Nope.

After taking a day or so finding my chi and taking cleansing breaths, I finally emailed him back TELLING him exactly what I needed him to do.

Why didn't I do that from the beginning?  Well, because I thought it would be rude.  And also?  I'm not his mother, baby-sitter, or wife.  I should not have to break it down for him in a manner a three year old would understand and then order him to comply.

Annnnnd this is where that first paragraph really comes into play.  I should have really learned by now.

So I did.  I told him exactly what I needed.  I told him exactly what I expected.  And I told him exactly when I needed it by.

His response?  No closer to the beginning than I was when I started writing this.  In fact, his answers were geared towards a belief that if he made this hard enough on me, maybe I would just skip the appointments all together.  Since, after all, there is nothing wrong with The Monkey.  Ever.  At any point in time.  Just like all the other times there was nothing wrong with her.  Oh, well....except for that time with the gall stones.  And the acid reflux.  And the genetic disorder.  And the developmental delays.  And the behavioral issues.

But those times totally don't count.

I *guess* I can understand his point of view.  After so many times of being right about it all, odds should be in his favor this time?  There actually *IS* nothing wrong with her?  Right?  That's how Vegas works, why not his daughter.

Her appointment is in two days.  This afternoon, I completely gave up on letting the ex "participate" (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....ahem....) that I took matters into my own hands.  And I got the resolution I needed.  Sure, I had to make some pretty serious threats to a large insurance company, used made up curse words to really confuse them, and it took about 4 hours of my time, but hey!  I'm an unemployed single mother!  I APPARENTLY HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

The question I'm asking myself now is this:

In the future, do I just handle business and let him know how it all turned out after?
or
Do I continue to try to get him involved even though I know without a doubt that it is only going to end in confusion and ticked-off-edness?

Gah.  Exes.  Can't live with 'em, still illegal to shoot 'em.  I would know.  I check regularly.

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