Maternity Test

So about three years ago (OMFG), I was pregnant. I know this because pregnancy leaves me with PTSD. I hate it. Its horrifying. But that's me. Anyway, after this pregnancy thing, I gave birth to a baby. A tiny little beautiful miracle of wonder that almost, ALMOST, made up for the whole pregnancy thing. Somewhere between then and now, I'm pretty sure my kid got swapped out.

When I was younger, I had this irrational fear of costumed folk. I don't mean like around Halloween. Or even clowns. I mean those people whose job it is to don a monkey suit and jump around like idiots to the merriment to most other kiddos. The two specific instances I can remember is at Show Biz (which is what Chuck E Cheese used to be) and at a place in Denver called....oh crap...mmmm....OH! Casa Bonita (yeah I googled Denver Mexican places. what.). Both of these places had gorillas that mingled amongst the folk. Granted, they were people in costumes as gorillas, but whatever. In my head, they were real. And freaking TERRIFYING. No joke, I would hide under the table. Shivering in terror. As these....monstrosities would walk past the table I was simply trying to finish a meal at. And yeah. I still get shit over it from my family.

Which brings me back to why I think my kid was swapped out at some point. She. LOVES. The costumed people. She has yet to meet one she doesn't like. She will run right the hell up to them, hug them, grab their hands, touch them, whatever. No fear.

We went to Sea World today (side note: I just spelled World wrong in every possibly way before getting it right) for some fun in the water park, then headed up to the big gazebo thing for some grub and a show. Which is where every SW (so much easier) performed in a show. And my kid? Hugged all of them.

Look at her. She's totally cheezing it up with this guy. Granted, the stripped shirt and sailor cap does make him significantly less scary than a gorilla, but still. And yes, that bottom picture? That's her smiling for the camera. Why do kids do that? It's like they loose all control of their facial muscles in a desperate attempt to say cheese. Who came up with that anyway? Cheese? Really? When I think cheese, I think about how many days it'll be before I get to take a crap again, and THAT is nothing to smile about. But I digress.

Here's the little traitor with Dolly the Dolphin and Shamu. She charged the stage a couple of times to get at these two. When she got up there, she immediately started petting and chatting and holding hands. It was a regular little love fest. Weird.
She hugged this one for so long it actually became uncomfortable. I almost asked if she needed a minute alone or what the hell. I took the picture, and actually had to drag her away from him. She kept wanting to huuuug and saying 'Tayn Too.'
Sidney the Shark. How did this NOT scare the bejesus out of her? I'M a little scared of this guy. But the monkey? Nooooo, he was the only one left, so she HAD to run over to him. She grabbed his hand (or her, not sure how that works), hugged him, then turned around and made her cheese face.

Had it been me at that age? I probably would have admired them from a distance, been slightly jealous of all the other kids running up to them for hugs and cheese faces, but when the time came for my turn? Yeah. Would've dived right the hell under the table. Pretty sure this isn't my kid.