BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

6.26.2009

Whoops

In order for this story to reach its full potential in hilarity, there are a couple of little tid-bits of information you need to know first.

So I got the Palm Pre, right? And I'm still learning my way through all the intricacies of this new AWESOMEness. That's the first thing you need to know.

Second, in my phone, my ex is labelled as The Ass. I do this for a couple of reasons. One, seeing his name makes my butt pucker, so changing it to The Ass makes me happy, even if for a few seconds prior to reading whatever random word vomit he's decided to spew on me at that moment. And two, because I have a couple of people in my phone who have the name 'James', this keeps him from being lumped in with people I like.

Ok. So. Today I had to take the monkey to the doctor for an ear infection. And being the award winning mother of the year I am, I figured I should probably let the sperm donor know about it. Plus the divorce decree makes me, but that's this whole other thing that we won't get into at this moment. Here's the email I sent to him:

James,

I've scheduled an appointment this morning with Dr. Albrecht for Monkey. Her ear infection does not seem to be getting better. The appointment is at 1145. Just fyi as I know you won't attend.

Thanks.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Perfectly harmless, yes? HERE'S the response I got back from him:

Mandy,

I just received your email, but won't be able to attend as I am currently in New York.

Please let me know how her appt. turns out.

James
aka "The Ass"

Um. What? Aka 'The Ass'? How would he...how did he...what the...? It was at that moment that I realized that my new phone, which has now reached a NEW level of awesomeness, disclosed to the recipient how he was titled in my phone. So the ACTUAL email looked like this:

fromme@themail.com
reply-to"me@themail.com"
toThe Ass "libr8r@themail.com"
dateFri, Jun 26, 2009 at 9:06 AM
subjectMonkey
mailed-bythemail.com
hide details 9:06 AM (6 hours ago)
James,

I've scheduled an appointment this morning with Dr. Albrecht for Monkey. Her ear infection does not seem to be getting better. The appointment is at 1145. Just fyi as I know you won't attend.

Thanks.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Fan-freaking-tastic. I have not stopped laughing since. I have so many responses I want to reply with.
"It was easier to type that than rat bastard whore mongering douche bag."
"At least now you know what to answer to"
"At what point did you ever think that WOULDN'T be what I would call you"

And the list goes on and on. Point is, it has made my day that he got to see that. I have YET to stop laughing. :) Also, I'm pretty sure every time I sent him an email from my phone I'm going to change his name to some other derogatory title. Any suggestions?

2 comments:

The Lily said...

"The Only Useless Tool I Know"

Sarah said...

I think this might be one of the better laughs at his expense....Laugh it up and enjoy it! You deserve it!