A Day in the Life of Someone Who Deals with a Moron Baby Daddy

Ok, I realize this may be cheating just a bit, because it's not a real blog entry, it's just cutting and pasting an email conversation between myself and my AWESOME (said with only a hint of sarcasm) ex-husband.  But.  It IS actually the kind of crap I deal with from him on a regular basis, and since I have to deal with it, I thought it only fair that you should share in the bull shit.

For the back story, The Smoodge and I went on a two week vacation over the holidays.  I let him know in accordance with the damn divorce decree, and he agreed.  We got back this last weekend, and he started this email conversation with me on Thursday.  He's in red (because that's what color evil is) and I'm in blue.  The ONLY thing I've changed is her name to The Smoodge (because that would be weird if that's how we referred to her in real life.  that's just for you crazies).

Mandy,

Since you were out of town during my weekend visitation with her, I will keep her overnight on Mon. Jan. 12th and will drop her off on Tue Jan. 13th.

James,

Unfortunately that is not going to be possible.  Perhaps if you had given more notice something could have been negotiated.

On October 26, 2008, I asked that you give at least a 15 day notice of when you wanted your overnight visit to be.  On October 28, 2008, you agreed to this request.  You were made aware of the dates she would be gone on October 26th, and had ample opportunity to schedule an alternate overnight, and you failed to do so. 

If you are voiding our agreement to give a 15 day notice, or to have your overnight with The Smoodge on your weekend with her, please state that as such.  If this is the route you would prefer to take, you will need to let me know what dates for an overnight you would like to have from now until November so that I can schedule it accordingly.  

Thank you.

Mandy,

Unfortunately for you, you don't get to make up the rules for my overnights with The Smoodge. There is not a notification process stated in the divorce decree. I suppose it would be inconsiderate to let you know a day before or the day of, but seeing how she's only 2 yrs of age and not in school or part of Girl Scouts or a professional gymnastics team there really isn't much to discuss and it's only Thursday.

I did email you in regards to overnights stating I would take her overnights on the weekends I'm to have her. It's not my problem that you decided to take her out of town during my overnight weekend this month (Jan.). I will exercise my overnight with her, it is my right as her father and I have not seen The Smoodge in over 3 wks.

You should be concerned about her having a good relationship with BOTH PARENTS and ensuring she spend time with her father as well, but as always you let your own issues get in the way of your parenting.

You don't get to make up rules when you feel like it, We know you have difficulties following court orders, but a no show on Monday is in violation of the court order and a report will be filed if you fail to let me see her.

James,

I am not attempting to 'make up the rules for your overnights with The Smoodge.'  I am simply abiding by the written agreement that you and I had in regards to when the overnights would occur.  You were notified, and did agree to, The Smoodge and I being out of town for the dates that we were.  You were aware that this included your weekend with her.  I am confused as to why you are implying it is my problem that you failed to make plans accordingly.

I do realize the importance of The Smoodge spending time with her father.  I have no problem with her spending time with you overnight on a weekend as we agreed to.  What I would ask is that you value and respect the schedule that The Smoodge has during the week days, and the importance, even at the age of two, of sticking to that schedule.

That being said, I believe you are off this weekend.  If you would like to have your overnight with her on Saturday night, perhaps beginning on Saturday at noon and continuing for a 24 hour period, that would be appropriate, and I am more than willing to agree to that.

Thank you.

I will pick her up on Monday.

This has got to be one of the most moronic things he could ever put into print.  He just put into writing that he doesn't give a damn what goes on in The Smoodge's life, and that spending time with him should only be done when convenient for him.  He's not interested in co-parenting, or the best interest of his daughter.  And if you know me at all, the responses I had were NOT my first draft.  Those were rewritten numerous time to cut out the 'rat bastard son of a bitch's' and 'whore mongering douche bag's'.  Aren't you proud?  I think I should get a gold star.

I don't want to move away from San Antonio.  It's warm here.  Kansas City did not put it's best foot forward when we were there for the holidays.  It was cold.  Ridiculously cold.  Like, I'm surprised people are able to live there cold.  I would take a shower, and linger just a few more minutes under the warm water, all the while thinking to myself, this is the last time I'm ever going to be warm again.  Yes, the family is there, but there are up and downsides to that.  If they could all move here, that would be great.  Mostly it's the weather.  Oh, and the job.  I love my job.  It works for the life I am currently living, and is willing to work around my life if I went back to school.  I know that I could not find something up there with the pay and benefits as with what I have now.  But that chain of emails?  That would be crap I wouldn't have to deal with if I were to move.  And that crap sucks so much of my will to live that it's a definite POSITIVE for getting out of here.

Oh, and the scheduling issue that doesn't make it ideal for her to stay the night with him?  Not a big deal or anything.  Just her THERAPY.