floccinaucinihilipilification

I've given up the struggle to cleverly title. From now on, if it takes more than two seconds, then too stinkin ' bad. I had a hilarious conversation with A.Shine today, and for the life of me I can't remember what it was about. I even specifically remember saying I was going to blog about it. And now, nothing. Rumor has it IH -35 is down to one lane...I think that may be my cue to leave work early. So...in that case...I'm OUTTA HERE!

Spurs lost. I don't want to talk about it. On the other hand, lunch at the OG's today with A.Shine! Yeah! Happy dance to that! The Smoodge had an appointment with the gastro yesterday, and now we have to go see a surgeon so HE can tell us what needs to be done. THEN, later on, her PCP called with the blood work results from her 18 month visit, when we found the stones, and her levels are more elevated than the first time. The only semi good news we got was that her chromosome 10 deletions may be why she's having these issues. It's not good news, per se , but it's information, and at this point, information IS a good thing. I spend so much time in the dark about this stuff that it can easily drive one crazy. Alright, back to work....well, at least gotta get back to pretending to work. It's a rough task, but somebodies got to do it :)

A.Shine left me a comment that I needed to provide links to all the ways I am utilizing my time today without working , so I have done so for her benefit . If you've already read my earlier blog , please do so again since I took precious time away from an awesome game of Basejump to link the previous thread . Thanks , and have a great day :)

The Smoodge has a doctor's appointment today with the gastroenterologist's nurse. It was originally set up as a check up on how she's doing on the Prevacid, but now that she has kidney stones, I'm hoping the doctor will be able to stop in. That may mean we sit for a while waiting. Which reminds me, hold on a second, I've got to Google where that damn office is.... Okay, I'm back. Anyway, the POINT in all that was that's all I'm waiting for today. Payroll is done, thank god, and yeah, sure, there are things I could be doing, but who wants to when there are new things on Etsy to discover, games to play, wikipedia articles to read, and thanks to catkins, about 4 hundred billion television shows and movies to get caught up on. With all that, I'm just not sure I have time for work today.

I've had to wear my glasses for the last couple of days thanks to my right eye trying to escape, which means I wore my glasses today to work. I don't like wearing my glasses. I don't like not having peripheral vision. I feel like a high school geek all over again. So I don't wear them very often. This is a conversation I had today with a guy I work with about my glasses. Him: I like the glasses. Me: I hate them. Makes me feel geeky. Him: They make you look younger. Me: No they don't. Him: Yeah they do. They make you look like you're in your twenties. Me: .... Him: They do! Definitely in your twenties. Me: I AM IN MY TWENTIES!!! *sigh. I fired him. Then killed him. And I'll never tell you where I buried the body.

You know, from that game you played when you were younger, where someone would hurt you until you yelled UNCLE! That's me, yelling UNCLE! at this stupid new place hunt. I spent the day looking at 12 houses that I had meticulously selected over the last few days, and I came away from that search with nothing. Nada. ZILCH. And I'm supposed to let my current complex know tomorrow whether or not I'm signing another lease. I have four more options that I'll call about tomorrow (I found them this evening), and then I'm screaming UNCLE! for real. It's bad enough that today was a holiday. Let me rephrase. I'm glad it's Memorial Day. It's important that we all take a moment to thank those that have served, are serving, and have died for this country to protect our rights. But I think everyone would appreciate it more if we had a Friday in honor of it instead of a Monday. That throws you right into the middle of your week with no day to prepare for i...

Hey all you Grey's Anatomy fans out there! When you watch Dr. Hahn, do you find yourself thinking, 'It rubs the lotion on it's skin of else it gets the hose again'?

I spend the first, oh, ten to fifteen minutes every time I sit down to type something on this blog trying to think of a title. By the time I've thought of one, every thought I had about the actual blog is gone. This is getting a bit ridiculous. The last couple of days have FLOWN by. Seriously. I'm not sure where they went, or even if I participated in them. When was the last time I posted? Thursday? Friday? Couldn't tell ya. That sucks. Let's start with yesterday. I can't remember yesterday. Let's move on to today. Oh wait! Okay, it's starting to come back to me now. So I'm in an apartment currently. And I hate it. Not the actual apartment itself, it's not so bad. I hate apartment life. I hate climbing a flight of uneven concrete stairs with a baby in one arm and a crap load of stuff in the other. I hate fighting for a parking space. I hate hearing the neighbors when they do anything. I especially hate listening to my upstairs nei...

I totally just fell asleep at work. That's how bored I am. What woke me you ask? The sound of my forehead hitting my desk. And Twitter hates me. I've been trying to Twitter for the last 2 hours, and nothing. Twitter eats poo...for now.

And to help with the visual aid, go here . Please feel free to Rick Roll your friends. Think how much joy getting Rick Rolled gave you. I know I was in absolute tears :) In all fairness, I guess I should tell you not to open that link if you are doing real work or whatever on the internet. Wait until playtime. On the other hand, maybe if you weren't screwing around at work this wouldn't be an issue, now would it?

I am only mildly technologically in the know. Okay, that's a lie. I'm not even a little bit in the tech know (hehe, tech know...get it, techno? hehe). So while I'm sure most of you out there have already discovered that broadcasting stations such as Fox and NBC and who knows who else have full episodes online for you to watch in awesome High Def, I only discovered this now. In all fairness, I've never had a need to watch shows online. I have a DVR that I pay for, and it does a pretty good job. I can record, I can watch in HD, I am set. Except Monday night my DVR was out to get me. It knew it had me cornered with the Spurs game on, and it knew that I didn't care what else was on, there wasn't a damn show in the world that would have kept me from watching my Spurs throw the smack down on the Hornets. So it tricked me. It flashed that Flavor of Love was going to be on in two minutes. When it does this, I know there will be two shows recording at one time, and you c...

I've never suffered from allergies before. Ever. Not when everyone else around me was reduced to a sniveling pile of tissue and snot. Not when sneezing was so frequent it became the new slang. Nope, uh-uh, not me. Until The Smoodge came along. And now I'm either allergic to her, or allergies are contagious and she gave them to me. Either way, I'm putting this on her. It feels like my brain is slowly dripping out of each of my nostrils every waking moment. Not even my Neti Pot can make my life better, because one nostril is always so stopped up that the water can't drain out of the other side. And I love my Neti Pot. Granted, I don't look NEARLY as attractive as the girl in the link above (you KNOW she's workin' it) when I use it, but still. I should probably be using it more proactively than reactively, and then I wouldn't have to deal with the fact that my eyeballs have reached a temperature comparable to that of the sun's core. And spe...

I'm currently trying to consume just the right amount of beer. Enough to make me fall asleep at a decent time tonight, not so much that I crash out before the end of the Spurs game so I know whether or not I'll be rocking the free coffee in the morning. My cat is weird. He eats strawberries and green olives. And loves them. I think maybe he's not a cat, but more like a Stitch. A cleverly disguised alien critter that is slowly but surely sucking my will to live. I've begun searching for his spaceship, because I'm pretty sure that when I opened my eyes in the middle of the night last night he was fiddling with his ray blaster gun... In rereading my last paragraph, I'm sure you're thinking, um, I think you've screwed up the balance. But I assure you, I have not done so. I have only had ti martooni's ociffer, I promise. Okay, enough with the mildly intoxicated ramblings, my boys need me in the other room, the lead has been cut, and I'm quite ...

I took two naked pictures of myself. Simmer down, they are NOT they kind of naked pictures you'd want to look at. And no, I won't show you. Because they are for me. I'm trying to lose some weight, and am finding it hard to keep my motivation going, so I took these pictures so that I can see where I'm at, and what I've accomplished, or not accomplished each week. I won't be posting them on my fridge or anything, mostly because I've got an 18 month old roaming around the house, and I'm not trying to frighten her into a straight jacket. That and I have so few people visit me that I don't want to scare off the ones that do. And the best part is, if I lose enough weight, when I'm done I'll have a really cool flip book.

This past week has been quite exhausting. Exhausting in the way that it makes you feel as though you're incapable of doing anything other than laying on a couch and watching infomercials on the hula chair or other such nonsense only because the remote is four millimeters away from your fingers and that's simply too far to reach. But not exhausting in the way that you lay down and fall asleep instantly. At least not in my case. For the past two weeks now the only reason why I've gotten any sleep at all is because around 2:30 in the morning I'm chasing half a hydrocodone with wine straight from the bottle. So how is it I'm able to get up at my normal time of 5:30am? Well, I'm not, and we'll get to that in a minute. Dealing with my ex has been one of the most emotionally and mentally exhausting things I've ever had to do in my life. The only thing that ranks higher is having to deal with all of The Smoodge's medical issues alone. This man that ...

You know, from the movie? No? Nobody watch that? Just me? Today was a long day. The short of it is, we have gall stones. Details later.

For Mother's Day my 18 month old daughter got me a Coach purse (via my mother). Those of you that know me know that I'm not all girly like that. My idea of a good purse is one that fits all my crap, leaves me hands free for Smoodge carrying, doesn't cost more than 15 bucks, and isn't so big as to need it's own time zone. So when this $250 collection of leather, suede, and some other type of material showed up for me, I was a little afraid to touch it. I mean, seriously, who pays THAT much for a fancy Wal -Mart bag? They accomplish the same task, no? No, no they do not. Apparently I've been missing out on all this style and fashion and convenience, not to mention the bubbles of joy I am tempted to expel every time I realize that I'm not having to clutch my purse all the time thanks to the 45 degree downward angle my shoulders shoot out from my neck. There is magic in that handle, I'll tell you that right now. I'm not sure how it does it, but it...

To be perfectly honest about it, the meebo portion of my blog was created solely for my friend A.Shine, because the Nazi's at her job don't let her dick around on the internet while she's at work (I KNOW!), and because the matrix hasn't zeroed in on blogger yet, we can communicate this way. In appreciation of that, the following exchange occur ed : A.Shine: do you see me A.Shine: woo hoo ! A.Shine: i can chat now mjrflt : i'm so happy for you A.Shine: oh it's been so long since i've chatted... this day should go down in history. A.Shine: thanks for making this possible! mjrflt : lol mjrflt : are you going to give a speech? A.Shine: i would like to thank the work email for allowing me the opportunity to send mandy detailed instructions on installing meebo . i would like to thank the damn Barracuda for letting it's guard down once. and i would like to thank blogger for not being blocked (yet). but lastly i would like to thank MANDY for moving forwa...

If you care about my blog at all, that means you've taken notice of a few things. One of those things being that I've added an instant messaging widget to the website so that you can say hi to me when you log on. So say hi, would ya? And if you don't want to, at least pay attention if I say hi to you, because I can see when there's someone peeping. So don't be a stranger, introduce yourself to the random person you've decided to read about. We'll all be better for it. We are the world...we are the children... :)

I love my Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Baked FLAVOR BLASTED Hot 'n Spicy Cheddar. Except for one bad experience, they are the highlight of my day. Each one I eat is better than the last, and the only disappointment to eating them is when there is no more. You know those hot dog eating contests or milk chugging contests they have where the winner is like the world champion or something? If they had a Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Baked FLAVOR BLASTED Hot 'n Spicy Cheddar eating contest, I'd put the hurtin' on some goldfish. My friend A.Shine read about my bad experience , and felt my plight. And she wanted to do something to help, because that's what good friends do, and as far as good friends go, she gets a gold star (or a GOLD fish in this specific instance). I don't think I've previously mentioned that you cannot find, well, I cannot find, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Baked FLAVOR BLASTED Hot 'n Spicy Cheddar in the stores. The only place I've found them is the...

I know, I'm an awful blogger, one who doesn't sacrifice self for her blog. In my defense, I've had a rough couple of days dealing with what's going on in my life. Not that the last few days have been exceedingly eventful, just kind of a culmination of everything seems to have built up and hit me in the forehead. And I've been trying to deal with it all internally, but I don't think that's benefiting me at all, so hopefully by getting it off my chest I'll be able to sleep with out the help of mass doses of muscle relaxers and wine. We'll see. I'm kind of enjoying the wine. I can't write about my Saturday without giving a quick history on it so that it makes a little more sense. So, without further ado, the back story: Met a man we'll call L.B. in October of 2001. Married L.B. in February of 2006. Had L.B.'s baby in November 2006. L.B. pointed a gun at me and left for good on Christmas Day of 2006. Divorce filed (by me) Janua...

For those of you who have missed my daily rants and raves, sorry 'bout that. It was a rough weekend, looking like it may shape up to be a pretty rough week. Tonight, I'm mustering every ounce of energy I have to type this and stay awake for the Spurs game. And damn it Spurs, you better not lose. I probably won't get the opportunity to type anything tomorrow as well, but we'll just have to see. Oh, and out of curiosity, does that Go Phone commercial with Meatloaf and Tiffany singing freak anyone else out? Seriously. It gives me nightmares.

Hey Grey's Anatomy fans. Is it just me, or every time you see Dr. Hahn you think to yourself, It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again.

A conversation I just had with a co-worker: Him: Cars in Mexico aren't really any cheaper than here. Me: Oh really? Him: Nah, they are imports over there. Me: Does Mexico have any, like, brands of cars? Him: Burro.

Apparently that intangible weirdness that I blogged about yesterday snuck over to my house while I was driving home, because when I got there, there it was in all it's random glory. Even Smoodge got the vibe. She fell asleep on the drive home, which she does occasionally, and then she'll either just go down for the night or sleep for a few hours, wake up to eat, then go back to bed. Not last night. Last night as soon as I her into her bed she started crying like someone was pinching the skin on the back of her arm as hard as they could. Which is unusual for her because she rarely cries. Not for real anyway. So moving right along, she goes to bed, and then I'm trying to get stuff done before I head to bed. When I get finished, I notice that it's 1 in the morning. WTF? Did the weird vibe that snuck into my apartment set all my clocks forward 3 hours because I could swear it was closer to 10pm! I head off to bed, and immediately start having a nightmare. But no...

OG's you pervs. Finally got me some OG'S ... Today has been such a weird day. There's an odd vibe in the air that seems to be throwing every one off. Wait, please stand by while cranking up Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz Okay, back now with my sunshine in a bag. Don't make me bust out the lyrics. Finally, someone let me out of my cage... Anyway, back to the weird vibe. It's so intangible, I can't really put my finger on it. It's such a weird vibe that I can't even figure out how to get out of this topic now, because I can't verbalize what's going on, so let's just pretend like this never happened, m- kay ? My daughter, the infamous Smoodge , has an uncanny knack at taking a crap right before we are about to walk out the door in the mornings. Doesn't matter if it's 7:15, 8:00, or even 10:00am. Always in the morning, always right before we leave. Literally. Like, I'm saying, come on Smoodge , let's go, and she's g...

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England .In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduledfor delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York .This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico . But as we know, the great ship did not make it toNew York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo. Did you really expect something educational???